


Make Me Feel

by lucydwrites



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M, fluff but you know me, thorcid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:04:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucydwrites/pseuds/lucydwrites
Summary: A\N: This happens after the Haters Roast tour and it follows the timeline of the last fic I published on Tumblr.Yes, it is based on Janelle's song. And I strongly advise to listen to the whole album!





	Make Me Feel

Shane had his headphones on and "[Little Girl Blue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rX8hOw31wCQ)" by Janis Joplin playing loud. She was still his fave and he needed a break from Stevie. Shane wonders why every hospital room has this strange power of making you rewind your whole life while staring at suspicious paintings hanging over the desks of the attendants.The painting hanging over his therapist office wasn’t that bad, she told him her daughter was the artist. A cabin in a forest made of bamboos. She definitely binge watched Bob Ross. 

When he was a kid, going to a “crazy people” doctor was scary. His parents never believed he actually needed, even with the ADHD peaks oscillating. They had good intentions and the willingness of signing him up to every possible extra activity. Growing up Shane surely kept childlike aspects, and he held on to the Jack of all trades cards far too long. Until there were no more tricks.

His participation on All Stars only proved how much he needed to care of himself, of that oh so troubled mind. But then he signed up for a tour. Jamin could not believe. _Jamin._ He needed to care of him too. They were still together, the relationship growing roots and spreading all over. In domestic bliss of falling asleep binge watching Project Runaway or playing Speak Out not afraid of looking absolutely stupid in front of another. Shane loves drama and he surely annoys Jamin every chance he can just to see if he can take it, but he loves even more the ridiculous assurance. He brings peace when Shane doesn’t know how to turn it off anymore.

Jamin helps him to understand the origin of love, when they were one but slip in two. The therapist helps him understand himself and the origin of anxiety. He learns every session that he needs to exercise to not push the red button and slowing down a notch when his head is going all over the place.

He learns to love himself.

After the tour he doesn’t have many gigs so he visits his family and Jamin goes to Disney with Beckie. He sends Shane pictures of his sister’s garden and says “After we get married we need to have a big house. Full of plants”.

Shane grins shaking head feeling a swirl in his stomach. The date is not set and they are not in hurry, but it surprises him everytime that this man wants to marry him. 

“If it’s cute like _The Secret Garden_ I’m in. But I’m sure you’re thinking more like _Little Shop of Horrors_ I’m completely out”

“Party pooper”

He is still typing as Shane sees the phone screen.

“What are you wearing?” he asks with a wink emoji face and another one popping the tongue out.

Shane bites his lower lip. The subject is a bit sensitive since he has been in a sort of dry spell. That could happen when you have a anxiety and depression crisis and he just didn’t feel like having sex lately. Even though he still wanted Jamin the same and he supported him in his healing process sometimes it was more difficult. He thinks about what to type, and then just let it be.

“I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days and gray undies. Also, crocs with socks. Sexy homeless couture”

Jamin doesn’t answer as fast as before. He types and stops.

A smiling emoji with joy tears. “I miss you. I love you.”

There. The reassurance. He makes him a fucking addict of that feeling. 

*

When they see each other again Jamin tells him about all the drama happening in Beckie's love life during breakfast. Shane watches him while sipping his mug of coffee and replying some emails about the Thorchestra rehearsals. He’s been really into Benjamin Gibbard and this version of [_“And I love her”_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ca-rFKD4014)of The Beatles starts playing. Shane can’t help but standing up and Jamin stops talking noticing that Shane is approaching him, taking the plate that he was drying out with a cloth of his hand and takes him to dance, putting his arms around his broad shoulders and responding to everything the song was describing.

“So you didn’t listen to anything I’ve said” he is not completely hooked by Shane’s charms lip syncing to the song but firmly resisting while he rocks him to the rythym of the acoustic guitars.

“Something about a wardrobe purge and giving the holographic bomber jacket to Thorgy?”

“Clearly you were not” he scoffs and Shane continues to lipsync his morning love declaration.

_He gives my everything_   
_And tenderly_   
_The kiss my lover brings_   
_He brings to me_   
_And I love him_

_A love like ours_   
_Could never die_   
_As long as I_   
_Have you near me_

*

Shane is the worst person to help clear a room for more space. He is attached to every stupid item of Jamin’s studio and after one full bag made of tears and complaints their mission is finished. It’s a hot day so they are peeled off layers of winter clothes, Shane is the first one to fall asleep after Jamin cooks them pasta. They watch Survivor and he tries to fill Jamin with all the details and rules and he see in his eyes that he is trying to pay attention but the slumber is stronger.

The other day it’s cold again.

Shane wakes up in Jamin’s bedroom. He kept watching TV until his eyes were burning red and there was no food left. Jamin woke up at some point, kissed the top of his head and went to bed and a little later he followed him. Now he stretches a bit and peer under the blanket. Jamin’s torso is covered with growing chest hair no shaving for drag in weeks, going up and down, his pajamas shorts crumbled on his crutch and underlining his delicious morning wood. He sleeps peacefully but feels a shiver of the lack of contact with the blanket.

Shane wants to touch him but he still doesn’t know if he is ready again. He gets out of bed and he is wearing a white t-shirt and black boxers. There’s a huge mirror in Jamin’s bedroom now. It’s in front of the bed and it covers two wadrobe doors. He made a small renovation to make more rooom and now there’s this full size mirror staring Shane every time he wakes up there. He feels very weird about it. 

But he is standing in front of it, looking at the man in front of him. He decides to face it. His legs are well toned and long and he loves them. He removes his shirt and touches his belly, it’s soft and far from ripped but it has it’s charm, and he pats the roundness of it chuckling. 

Shane notices by the reflex that Jamin is still sleeping. He approaches the mirror and caresses his arms analysing his tattoos and skin so-called imperfections. He has zits, freckles and allergies from shaving too much but his skin is mostly strong and healtly and he is thankful for that.  Then he finally reaches his face. His dreads all lose and while framing his strong jaw and chin. Ah, the chin. And the ears. The acne scars. They still make him feel weird looking. 

His tiny hooded blue greenish eyes looks even smaller right after waking up. He likes his eyes. Their his mother’s eyes and she was beautiful, they remind him that he is not so bad after all. He doesn’t even notice that Jamin is up looking at him too from the bed when his eyes meets his.

“What are you doing?” he asks chuckling and right after sits on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes and stretching.  Shane doesn’t turn around and doesn’t feel embarrassed, he replies him keeping eye contact through the mirror. 

“My therapist says that I need to look at myself in the mirror more often.”

Jamin furrows his brow questioning checking his phone, sitting by the bedside table. 

“We’re drag queens. We’re mirror whores, that’s not good advice.”

“I mean, right? But she didn’t mean Thorgy. She said Shane needs to see himself more. She says I cover myself too much and wear this bland colors because Throgy sorta sucks this out of me. She says that we, as drag queens need to see the original character, the original skin.”

He replies trying to create a hairdo for his mess of dreads. Jamin is observing him thinking.

“It makes sense.”

He simply realizes and then he goes to the bathroom. Shane listens to him pee, washing his face and brushing his teeth. Jamin also turns on the small loudspeaker he has on the sink, and opens the faucet of the tub.

“You’ve read my mind. I could use a warm bath.”

Shane replies and Janelle’s new album is playing. Jamin had been listening to it the whole week.  He is done with the mirror exercise and he  watches Jamin approaching him from behind. 

“Can you hand me my shirt?” he asks but Jamin picks it and tosses on the bed again.

His rumpled shorts are still rumpled showing his thick legs. Jamin’s stomach is still a bit defined even though he doesn’t go to the gym anymore. He stands close to Shane from behind and looks at him. 

“Let me see what we have here” 

He tied some of the dreads up and let others lose. Shane feels comfortable with Jamin staring at him and he checks himself too.

“I swear my ears are getting bigger every day”

Shane pulls some hair behind showing his big ears too.

“Our future kid is doomed” 

“I don’t know, Dusty Ray Bottoms looks really good!”

Shane laughs hard and Jamin too, then after few seconds they go back to the analysis.   Shane tries to fix the dreads that kept falling out and the front is also so frizzy. He gives up. 

“I’m thinking about cutting them. Just shave my head.”

“And come for Sasha’s gig”

Shane shakes head chucking with Jamin’s atypical morning humor, but there’s a lot of insecurity by the thought.

“My hair was really straight when I was little, but after my teenage years I had to take heavy medicine for my acne problem and hormones and my hair just got thicker and weird. I was so done with it that’s why I decided having dreads and for the first time I felt at least cool, or at in peace with it.”

Jamin huggs him from behind and kisses his shoulder and Shane feels like he is fitting in the universe again. Jamin looks at him still staring at his body and he knows Shane is looking for every flaw.

“God, you’re so beautiful”

Shane chuckles and shakes head, but then Jamin keeps kissing his crook and glues his body behind him. Shane turns his head to smell the top of his dark curls, still smelling like shampoo and pull his embrace tighter. He is growing in his boxers and Jamin notices, his hand palm goes south but doesn’t touch his erection. 

Jamin is swinging with the beats of the song. He is trying to sing the song but he doesn’t know the whole lyrics, but it doesn’t stop him. 

_“That's just the way you make me feel,_ ” he sings together with Janelle planting kisses on his neck. _“So real, so good, so fuckin' real..."_

Shane feels ticklish and turned on. Jamin's cock is between his butt cheeks, rubbing and fighting contained by the fabric of his shorts and Shane’s boxers. It’s been too goddman long and he wants him so much. He turns to grab Jamin’s face and kiss him hard, his tongue exploring his mouth and nibbling his lower lip. Jamin pulls his leg up and pushes him against the mirror.

“Fuck me...fuck me…” he whispers on Jamin’s neck and he searches his eyes, desperate with desire but expecting his approval to move foward, if this is what he really wants. “I’m sure!” he replies laughing without Jamin asking.

Jamin is relieved and excited, his breathing is fast and he breaks contact taking Shane’s hand to get him to bed but he refuses. 

“No, here. Against the mirror” he replies turning to his back and Jamin can’t hide his absolute joy. He kisses his back slow and lowers his boxers just enough so he can lick him. Shane feels his tongue lapping his entrance and he melts completely, his cheek preesed against the mirror, his heavy breathing leaving a mark. He pushes Jamin head from behind to bury deeper and releases, and Jamin grabs harder his butt cheeks. 

“Come on...I want you inside me…” he whispers impatiently, his forehead on the mirror and Jamin going in harder make him whimper. He was more than ready. 

Jamin is a little hesitating, pushing himself slowly inside him. Shane is tight and his body is adjusting to the sensation again. Jamin holds his hips and kisses his shoulder blades making him relaxed, checking his reactions. Shane is calm but dying with antecipation. 

“Deeper…” he asks and he does what he pleads. He tries to find a steady pace holding Shane’s waist and pulling his hair and he laughs with jolts of pleasure. His head tilts to the side asking to be covered with kisses. He starts pumping his cock and his briefs finally drop on the floor with Jamin’s fast thrusts. Jamin's shorts are still hanging on his legs. He is moaning and singing in his ear and the mirror is trembling. 

Jamin fills him, spilling hot and strong, his cock trobbing with the release and Shane comes right after in the mirror. Jamin rests on his back, both panting, Janelle still playing. Jamin pulls out and Shane is sure he is going to feel sore the whole day, but his body is lit and eletric, still in process of healing but surely loved. He turns around to puts his arms around Jamin and kiss him gently on his jaw and nose, their slick cocks rubbing, the sweat drying out with the cold morning air. Shane notices water coming out of the bathroom and taps on Jamin's shoulder repeatdly. 

Jamin runs with his shorts dropping from his legs to turn off the tub.

“If I close the door we can make that scene from " _The shape of the water"_ here!” he yells from the bathroom.

“Well, you do have the outfit” Shane replies fixing his hair and when turns to see the mirror is a complete mess of handprints and cum. He makes a grossed out face but shrugs proudly anyways.    
  
  
  



End file.
